Here We Go.......

Hi again!
So I really didn't have a topic for this post; sometimes you just have to obey the Lord's prompting to write.
Not many things have been going on in my life, but the few things that are seem to require life changing decisions, such as where to go to college.
This has been the biggest thing for me. With the FAFSA deadline this weekend, and colleges sending all kinds of preview letters and applications, people are starting to ask me what I'm going to do with my life. The thing is: I DON'T KNOW! I know that I want to go to college, but other than that I don't have a plan right now. Some people ask why. The best answer I can give is that God has placed a number of things on my heart but hasn't given me any indications to follow one specific path. I know I want to do ministry especially with youth, maybe even inner city youth in a bigger city. I want to do something that helps people. But most importantly, I want to do what God has called me to do.
I have a friend that is attending a Christian ministry program in California, and from what I've heard from him, his family and others is that it is an amazing experience. I want something where I can see God at work everyday. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and see evidence of lives He's changed. I want to see his redeeming power at work in me and those around me. But most of all, I want to go somewhere where I am surrounded by fellow believers, and where I can worship God with all my heart.
I know that God has set me apart for some great purpose, He has made that much plain to me. I want to be in the center of his will, but I want to be able to share his love everyday, and experience it in a way so much more real than anything I have experience thus far.
But at the same time, there are things that are tying me back to my family and my life here. My cousin is coming to live with us this fall and go to school in the States. I want to be here for her, to help her grow and keep a big-sister eye on her. I want to be her for my friend's senior year; to encourage her too! There are so many things that make me want to stay here and I'm afraid.
Afraid that I'll make the wrong decision.
Afraid I'll not grow the way I need to.
My fears weigh me down.
God has been present in every aspect of my life, but right now it feels as though he is silent in this area. He still prompts me to talk to someone I might not want to, or send an encouraging text message to someone I don't know is struggling until weeks later. But when it comes to my future, I am not getting an answer, which frustrates me to no end.
God has been my constant source of peace and strength lately, but it seems as though he is silent. But the Bible says that "Faith is the product of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (my rough translation). God has to be doing something in my life behind-the-scenes that I can't see or can even imagine. But that is what faith is based on. So I am having to trust, and know that He will give me an answer when the timing is perfect.
Until then, a humble servant of Christ,
Hannah