It is Well........

It Is Well

It is well….. With my soul….. It is well, it is well with my soul…… How many times have you heard these words, sung by a chorus of voices resonate off the stained-glass walls of an old church? For me, I’ve lost count. In the past, this song was one that annoyed the daylights out of me. It was a hymn that old people sang; one that didn’t mean anything to me. It’s stayed that way as long as I can remember.

Recently, God has really been trying to get a hold of me. I was let go from my job in June after only three months of official employment, and although I knew it was coming (I was seasonal), it definitely threw me for a loop. I planned to get another job within only a few days, but all but one application I turned in was denied. I was forced to pay my expenses (including driving 400 miles a week for two months for school) from my measly life savings of less than $1000. The plus side was, I was able to spend a week this year as a counselor/ photographer for my church’s summer camp at the end of July. There, He totally rocked my world.

Camp this year was amazing, but so definitively different than any of my past seven years. Going into camp, between being unemployed and other issues, I was pretty much focused on spending time with friends I hadn’t seen in a year and just having fun. It turned out, I hardly spent time with my friends other than at meals, and ended up sitting behind my computer most of the day putting together slideshows from the photos we got. By the end of the week, I realized, I had hardly spoken to anyone. Also, God was doing some AMAZING things in our kids, which meant the devil tried to do everything he could to stop it; that meant a lot of warfare on the leaders. I will admit, I really struggled with certain topics, certain people, and certain situations.

During our last night there, while praying over a girl to receive the Holy Spirit, I had another, more senior leader pray over me. I couldn’t catch all that she said, but what I did hear, confirmed a desire/calling I’ve had on my heart for four years. It was so amazing to finally feel as though I have the go-ahead to pursue it, and such a blessing!

Now to tie the song into this tangent…….. There’s just a lot going on in my life, and I’m struggling with a lot. As a member of my church’s worship team, we met recently to pick some new songs to introduce to the congregation in the next few months. One happened to be “It Is Well” by Bethel Music. Hearing only the first verse and chorus, I totally connected to it! It made sense.

 When I have no job…… IT IS WELL

When I have the ability to travel and see people I love….. IT IS WELL

When I get a job, but I don’t make enough to pay for anything…… IT IS WELL

When I am blessed with some of the best friends in the world….. IT IS WELL

When I struggle with feeling like I matter…… IT IS WELL

When I get to worship alongside my favorite people….. IT IS WELL

When nothing is going right…… IT IS WELL

When everything is going amazing….. IT IS WELL

I have now had this song on continuous replay for a week straight, and I still worship along with it every single time. I am learning that just as the lyrics of the original say “Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well with my soul!”  No matter what is thrown my way, no matter how terrible things will get, as long as HE is on my side, it will forever be well with my soul.

So….. what about your soul?

A New Year.......

Gosh, 2014 has gone by so quickly. It feels like only weeks ago I was celebrating Christmas 2013 with my family waiting to see all that God would have in store for me in the coming year. It feels like yesterday I was hanging out with the best people on the planet at summer camp in Challis.
I came across such a cliché quote a few days ago, but it sums up my feeling about this year so perfectly: "I'm not the person I was a year ago."
I have learned SO many things over the past 12 months. I've experienced love, joy, happiness and peace. I've had my fair share of loss, heartbreak, and pain. I've had the best day of my life to this point and my worst in the course of only a few months. But God has continued to be good through it.
On the horrible days that seem to be taking over my life lately, He put people into my life exactly when I needed them. Nights that I cry myself to sleep, I get texts of encouragement. Days I struggle, He sends little reminders of his love for me.
As I sit here on the couch with some of my favorite people, I reflect on this past year. I'm thankful for the people who God put in my life. I have learned so many lessons from them. I have learned to fully rely on Him. I've hit rock bottom; I've had nothing left. I've had friends ripped away.  But God has replaced those who have hurt me with people who genuinely care for me. This, here, in this house is one of the only places I've felt completely safe. Its a feeling I hold on to every time I'm here. I don't think they'll honestly ever know how much they mean to me.
So as this new year begins, I'm not planning on having a resolution. I'm human, and I know I'll fail at anything I try to do on my own. Instead, this year I am just going to live my life in a way that allows God to continue to mold me no matter how painful the process is. Someone who finds their strength in Christ and Christ alone. Someone who can rest in HIS peace when the world around me is falling apart.